Keeping Marriage Strong
Dr John Van Epp, author of How to Avoid Falling in Love with a Jerk, created the Relationship Attachment Model (RAM) to help people to know how to "follow their hearts without losing their minds."
But it does not only apply to people in the dating phase, it is also very applicable for married couples.
Basics of the RAM
Know Trust Rely Commit Touch
The RAM has five parts to it, each has a slider or dial (like from a sound system) that goes up and down based on how much of it there is in a relationship.
For example, if you take time to get to know a person, that slider will go up for you. But if they overshare and you just listen, you may know a lot about them but they don't know anything about you!
The rule of the sliders in dating is that you cannot move on to the next one unless the previous one is higher. So if you want to be in a committed relationship but you haven't learned to trust someone, then your relationship is at risk and you are at risk to possibly get involved with someone who may turn out to be a jerk.
But, as mentioned, the model is not only for dating couples (although it is very, very useful in dating). Dr. Van Epp started a program to help couples use the RAM model to strengthen their relationships. His Program is called:
While Couple LINKS has several different programs, they all follow these basic lesson themes:
1: Relentlessly Pursuing Intimacy
2: Respectfully Cultivating Trust.
3: Reciprocally Meeting Needs
4: Resiliently Charting Your Course
5: Romantically Renewing Your Union
They even have a program specifically for military spouses.
